Weekly World News reports Tyler Perry has purchased American Airlines

The Day The Earth Will Stand Still

 

The Weekly World News, the former newsstand tabloid turned online tabloid, is reporting this bit of news:

Wealthy actor-director Tyler Perry has made an attractive offer for American Airlines.  The offer, said to be near $5 billion dollars, was quickly accepted by the airline.

His plans:

Perry, the creator of the “Madea” character and the “House of Payne” sitcom, reportedly plans to rename American Airlines – African-American Airlines.

Perry said he will not only be the CEO of the new airline, but he also will be the CFO, the COO, the CIO, the director of human sources and, of course, he will be the pilot on many AAA flights.

American said it is operating normal flight schedules, honoring tickets and reservations, and making normal refunds and exchanges – during the transition.

There’s no need to be alarmed by the news, after all this is the same media outlet that broke these stories:

• Alien Captured By U.S. Agents!
• Wounded Civil War Soldier Found in Georgia
• Noah’s Ark Found in Pennsylvania
• Farmer Shoots 23 Pound Grasshopper!
• I Had Bigfoot’s Baby
• Abraham Lincoln’s Corpse Revived

And most famously:

Bat Boy Found in West Virginia Cave!

Something that might alarm you though, is the reaction in the comments section:

• This is awesome. I know Tyler is a very well prepared businessman and its sure a very nice thing to see a man living his dream. I definitely dont have a problem with it

• It’s a joke, people.

• Congratulations TYLER PERRY! Dont like your movies, but who needs to act when you own an airlines?

• You people are stupid. READ the article it is full of…inaccuracies.  AA is HQd in Miami, not Dallas. It said Perry is going to fly the planes and buy an airline every week for a year.

• It’s a joke!! Calm down! lol lol lol lol

• Congratulations Tyler keep up the good work…… xoxo

• Stupid idiots do you really think this is true.

• Hope the fares for the caribbean island of St.Kitts/Nevis will reduce to a better fares. Tyler we luv u

“AA is HQd in Miami, not Dallas.?”  Pretty scary stuff when the voice of ignorance is also the voice of reason (though I have to agree with the desire for some fare sales to the Caribbean:-) 

Go here to read the full story.   Be warned, some of the comments make even the most heated threads in the AAdvantage section of FlyerTalk seem mild.

For the record: I found about this in a Google Alert.  I’m not a regular reader of the Weekly World News;-)

****************************************

Photo: The Day The Earth Will Stand Still – Weekly World News – September 15, 1998
Credit: By Mykl Roventine via Flickr

Comments

  1. If anything he will bring great “synergy” to the airline.

    It will be interesting to see how he negotiates with the unions. Eventually firing himself from multiple posts multiple times. Shifting the COO and CFO around until he finds the right mixture of upper mgmt personalities.

  2. hopefully Tyler Perry can rescue a dead airline….On demand Madea moview shall be comp…..hehheheee

    when is the official funeral for AA???

  3. I work for AA at ORD. When this “news” came out on Sat./10Dec., there were many black employees who acted as if all the world’s problems just came to an end. One man even commented (with lily white me in the room), “watch all of these white people start quitting in droves, because they don’t want to work for a BLACK man.” I was quietly reading my book, but when he said this, ” I turned around and asked, “Is that supposed to be a joke? Are you SERIOUS?” He was serious, so I calmly explained that I didn’t see a lot of black people quitting because the current CEO is white, nor did I expect ANY white people to quit due to the race of any AMR executive, regardless of the current state of the economy or outside job prospects.
    After that, he continued reading this “news” from his phone. He asked his friend, “What’s CEO?” His friend didn’t answer, so I looked up from my book and said “That stands for Chief Executive Officer.” The dialogue continued.
    “What’s CFO?”
    “Chief Financial Officer.”
    “What’s COO?”
    “Chief Operations Officer”
    “What’s CIO?”
    “Chief Information Officer, and by the way, I
    don’t think there is a company in America with
    more than 250 employees that has the same person
    fill all of these offices. You might want to
    consider the reliability your news source.”
    I’m sure many in the room at that point thought I spent my weekend’s wearing a white pointed hood over my head. Nothing could be further from the truth. On the other hand, with the “watch these white people quit” comment, I do think there was a lot of racist attitude in the room.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *